January Reading Challenge

  Identical by: Ellen Hopkins
      This book was incredibly sad. This story really relates to real life because this happens all the time and it’s just terrible. The story is about Kaeleigh and Raeanne Gardella identical twins, Kaeleigh is daddy’s little girl, she has been ever since she was nine and her father started sexually abusing her. To cope with the pain Kaeleigh binges, cuts herself and purges striving to forget what is happening. Raeanne, usually ignored, takes part in riskier and riskier behavior just screaming to be heard. To cope with the fact that she’s not loved like Kaeleigh she uses drugs, alcohol and sex. Both girls suffer in silence, living behind the facade of a perfect, all-American. Kae Gardella is the twins’ mother; she’s a congresswoman and a regular absentee, not around to witness the sexual abuse on Kaeleigh, when she is around she doesn’t acknowledge anyone around her. Raymond Gardella is a respected judge; he has a major drinking problem, which consists of him sexual abusing Kaeleigh.
      The main themes of this book were sexual abuse, self-abuse and physical/substance abuse. The sexual abuse came from Raymond Gardella, the father of the two girls, he sexual abuses Kaeleigh. This affects Kaeleigh because she can't say no because she doesn't want to disappoint him. This also affects Raeanne because she secretly wishes that he would care for her like that. Kae Gardella has no knowledge of this since she is never around. The self-abuse happened to Kaeleigh, she began to cut her legs and thigh area with a razor penetrating deeper that she should. I believe she did this because she needed a way to get away from her father's abuse. Physical/Substance abuse is also a very big issue because the whole Gardella family is in this. When Kae Gardella is home she blocks everyone out and drinks her troubles away, Kaeleigh feeling the need to be close to someone usually joins her mother. Kaeleigh turns to binging; eating mass amounts of food to stuff down her terrible feelings, purging and drinking until she can't feel the pain deep inside her. Ray Gardella drinks and has affairs to cope with his pain; sometimes he takes his prescription Oxycontin with his glass of scotch. Raeanne copes with her issues by getting high with her sex-buddy Mick, until she meets a new guy named Mick he shows her other ways to cope with pain he introduces her to sex-games and drugs worse than her usual. She also has a habit of "borrowing" her father's Oxycontin when he doses off.
(THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPH CONTAINS A SPOILER ALERT)         The conclusion in the book is that Kaeleigh really has a split personality causing her to create the memory of her sister Raeanne, who died in a car accident caused by Ray Gardella. Kaeleigh moves in with her grandmother and was fighting the pain of her sister's absence. When I finished the book I realized that there were hints to show this split for ex: After Kaeleigh cut herself with a razor blade, Raeanne had perfectly shaved legs, also the sister's never came in contact with one another throughout the whole book.
Impulse by: Ellen Hopkins                                           
      This story also by Ellen Hopkins was just amazing and brilliant just like all of her work. Impulse takes place in Aspen Springs Rehabilitation Center, where three patients put aside their differences and become friends. Together they try to overcome the things that got them in there in the first place; popping pills, the blade, and a gun.   
      Anthony “Tony" Ceccarelli has had the hard knock life but who hasn't? His Dad walked out on him when he was nine, and his mother wasn't the mothering type, and has had her share of boyfriend. One boyfriend Tony will always remember is Larry the boyfriend that turned him into a "man" by sexually abusing him. Tony couldn’t get anyone to believe him, which caused him to snap. Snapping landed Tony nine years in a juvenile detention center, he was charged with the murder of Larry. Tony was let out early due to good behavior he put into the care of Philip. Philip was his best friend, foster father, and father. When Philip died, Tony had no one to turn to so he turned to pills. (I'm not sure how Philip died, the book he was sick I think he might have died of AIDS) After he tried to swallow a half bottle of Valium is landed into Aspen Springs Rehabilitation Center. Tony is doing well and reaches Level 2 in Aspen Springs allowing him to attend school and church. He then meets Vanessa and is totally entranced, this makes Tony question his sexuality because he is gay. 
    Vanessa Angela O'Reilly has also lived the hard knock life. Vanessa keeps her secrets bottled up inside and only lets them come out with the blade. Many things keep Vanessa coming back to the blade for one her mother, the crazy one who kept talking to her "angel" Damian and wouldn't get proper help for her Bipolar Disorder. Since Vanessa's mother passed and her Dad is in the line of duty Vanessa's Grandmother has been taking care of her and her brother. Vanessa cut a little too deep one afternoon, and drifted off leaving her little brother Bryan to find her. She woke up in the Aspen Springs Rehabilitation Center. Here she met Tony and Connor who take big impact on her life. Vanessa soon has to deal with the fact that she inherited not only her eyes from her mother but Bipolar Disorder. Tony and Connor are there for her, and she is put on Lithium which helps her control the ups and downs of the disorder. Vanessa soon realizes that she's attracted to Connor and knows that Connor feels the same way; she then has some moments with Connor. Vanessa also realizes that she has feeling for Tony as well. She is then torn between two guys and has to make a decision. She will soon learn that her decision will be made for her.   
   Connor is the last of the trio but certainly not the least. Connor's perfect at least on the surface. He's handsome, gets good grades and is great at sports. But if you look under the surface things aren't what they set out to be. Connor and his sister Cara are supposed to be perfect. Cara has lived up to that honor but somehow Connor cannot and once he couldn't live up to his parent's impossible standards, he pulled the trigger. When Connor gets to Aspen Springs Rehabilitation Center, he wants nothing to do with it. Connor decides he will play his way out of there and be on his merry way. Connor meets Vanessa and Tony and things start to change making Connor want to strive to be better. Then Connor's parents com for a visit and remind him to keep up his grades even while he's in Aspen Springs. This is the start of Connor's downward spiral leaving him lower than he was to begin with.
    Soon the friends reach Level4 meaning their last test is to go on a 3 week hike. Tony is kind of scared to go on this adventure because if he completes it he'll be out and Tony isn't sure how to react to this. Vanessa is happy to be going on an adventure but isn't sure what to make of it. Connor who is still spiraling out of wild proportion isn't sure what to make of the trip. When the three go on the hike with other people from the Rehabilitation Center they are sure they can do this. They start by learning the basic stuff how to make our tent, and what to if they are in danger. The rehab members are given then given their meds for the day. Vanessa and Tony realize that Connor is not taking his meds, they feel the need to tell but aren't sure if it's necessary to do so. Soon a week goes by and the Vanessa and Tony still worry about Connor who has totally stopped taking meds, they want to tell but they feel Connor deserves his space. The group gets a surprise, letters from their families. Tony's is from his father saying he wants to make up for all the time they missed and hope's Tony will forgive him. Vanessa's is from her father saying he is coming home after his tour for good and he wants things to change between them. Connor's letter is from his mother, she hopes that the adventure is keeping him fit because football tryouts are coming up. She also talks about how she sent college applications to all of the school on THEIR list and his sister got into Stanford. Connor has now hit rock bottom. Connor, upset and angry turns the letter into a paper airplane and throws it as far as he can letting the wind take it away. The next day the group learns how to rappel so they can rappel into a cave. The group starts practicing on very tall trees. Connor still upset over his mother, and the idea of perfection and being like Cara leans over and lets himself drop and fall to the desert floor.